Everyone need a special friend who you could call them bestfriend, I used to have one but everything went wrong. Having aishah in my life is a blessing, shes like a sister to me. She bring happiness in my life. She have been through everything with me and seen me at my very worst situation. We shared things together, happiness, tears, laughter. But one day everything change when i got attached with my baby matthew. Shes still there lending her ear to hear my stories that she dosent want me to be in. She was so sad to see me in that situation where i got hurt again but i did not listen to her. So i keep choosing my own choice to still stay with matthew. A few times i tried to make them meet each other and know eachother well they keep rejecting it. There where i got a fight with both over stupid things. I wasnt thinking what i was doing, i told matthew about whats going on btwn aishah and me  and there it goes he asking me to leave her after the way she treated me and i follow his way and lose my bestfriend. But at the same time i did not know that matthew was actually still doing it and hurting me more and that point i really need somebody but i could not have anyone as i lost someone important. And i fight everything alone and settle everything. Aishah is a keeper for really but matthew is someone that i believe he could be better. I know why his being like this cos this is his first longest rs and its scar him. I understand that, truly i know deep down he loves me but he dont know how to show and give it to me. If you guys want to ask do i regret losing aishah over matthew? I would say a lil bit but i truly know that matthew can make me happy when time comes. He just need sometime to learn and how serious, real and long rs works thats all. From the bottom i really love this two people and no i never regret having both of them. Anw, dont forget..






Hello everybody, i was bored and decided to read every blog i had from 2009 till now. I can see how different my life are and how many boys i have. I laughed myself and wondering who the fuck is this guy and what are they doing now. haha! I hope everyone is doing great then. Actually i wanted to cook but then theres no gas. haha so now got to wait for dayat to buy it, super hungry. The reason why i dont blog that much now adays cos theres nothing much in my life that is happening. haha And i m not so active like how i use too on my lap top last time. Maybe i should come back to blogging everyday like how i use and share what happen everyday. Anyway, something happen went to bukit batok to get my boxes and take out all faris memories stuff and matt saw it and asking me why do you still keep it? and he say some sense things and make me strong to throw everything that i had with him. No more history with him that is hunting. Thank you so much darling. One thing i like and wonder about my baby matthew is that he actually know what is best for other people but to him he doesnt know what best for him, thats sad. I tried to help him or tell him whats good and bad but it doesnt work. I dont know la. hais nvm i m still happy to be with him. Just so you know dont be too shock i actually stop clubbing and drinking. Not stop stop ah but i only drink or club once in a blue moon sia, even i miss it but as older we get all that is nothing alrdy. And hell yea i fucking stop smoking like almost 1 year one more month left at the same time hais sad story its also mark a year of baby's accident . Nevermind, i hope baby appt on feb is a good result. I pray very hard for his best. Not to forget i own a vape already. haha! Dah boleh join vaper sister hahahah! This year countdown i want to book MBS and i really gonna do it. I want to enjoy the fireworks with baby. I really do, i want him to wrap his arm around my wise and say "baby, happy new year lets start a fresh year together, i love you very much". haha i tell you if he say that from his heart and mean it im gonna cry sia.   Okey i really dont know why i really emo listening to malay old love songs. hahah i better cook my dinner cos i m HUNGRYYYYY !!!!  As always guys, dont forget..








Hey blogger, Wanted to blog in the morning but yat ask to watch walking dead and mom ask to go out so i dont get to blog. Oh well, I really dont know what to blog but i guess i just share what happen today and few weeks or month that i havent been blogging then. Basically today just had lunch with family, aunty bought me a kate spade bag where i thought it was the VS bag but neh. so after everything went down to mbs to fetch matthew from work and had dinner. He was so cranky and i really cant take it and i shouted at him cos he keep scolding me for nothing but at the same time i feel bad tho. So what happen the past month it was our birthday. As normal, i plan for birthday trip but we did not went. Lucky i did not buy the tickets yet if not wasted. What happen on his birthday, as normal i want to do something special and romantic, so i ask my girls to come down after work to surprise him and sing a birthday song for him while his working. Haha after everything there comes my birthday surprise, since he end at 8 i told him to get change and meet me at this restaurant at MBS db bistro & oyster bar. I really hope he love it and not to forget the present i got it for him, seriously i really wish he love it. After his bday, its mine but his working on that day. Sadly but i really appreciate his time to make me feel happy on that day. We did not celebrate my birthday but its okey he did make it up on it. You know i actually did the right thing,  I know breaking up isnt the only way to settle everything. We need to fight and accept everything that is happening thats how you make your relationship stronger. Okey drop this. OMG! i having a bad stomach ache now. What did i eat wrong this time? hais. I think i shall stop blogging. Its really annoying and hurt too much,  Sorry for a boring post. Dont forget to read the previous if you missed it. Love you but love my boyfriend more. hehe! Anw, i feel like i need to change my blogskin ah or should i keep this? Still thinking,..  Dont forget!!..