Dear Blogger,






From the last post i was talking about me breaking up with matthew but we could not do it, i could not do it. I m too in love with him, yes again my mistake still keeping the one that hurts you when i myself knows that they could not make me happy no more. What can i do? I really need him, like how i use to need faris. So i dont know what am i suppose to do, i m trying my best to gain my trust towards him and see his changes to a better and wiser boyfriend. Its just sad that i could not see that no more,  i m tired trying to work this relationship alone when i really need him to do his part too. Am i coupling to myself or to someone that is named matthew williams? He told me not to talk to guys but why are you talking to bunch of girls on your phone? Why is he being so unfair? Are you scared to lose me? How about me? I m not scared ? I m really am scared of someone much prettier and fun took you away and much better someone who your mom could even accept them. I m fucking scared to lose someone that is too close with me and that i fall so hard. Why cant this just stop and treat eachother the way we actually had tooo? I really dont know how long can i stay and love you? But deep down i know i will  lose you and you will love other girls. Everything i say it just not working, i guess i had to leave you and you know what i am towards you? I guess so. Loving you really hurt sayang, it does. I dont feel like we are on this together no more. Hmm. I just want to be alone now. Shall stop here, good night.